In Flames

Good morning!

It’s almost the Easter holidays, I cannot wait!! I am fretting a little though about what I am going to eat as I can feel the ‘I Don’t Care’ attitude coming along.

I don’t know why, its like I am giving up and pretending I am not doing it. I was good yesterday, if you don’t count the gluten free bread I ate @ 13g a slice. (of carbs) then I asked James if he wanted anything from the kitchen and he asked for some of his marble cake from the fridge. So I got myself a piece, and another. I am such a loser! I keep re doing my ‘true weight’ on the dukan website, and I should have been at my goal weight again by April.
I seem to be good all week, then I eat one wrong thing and that snowballs me into a catastrophic week of eating rubbish.

Going to France  (this weekend) is going to be hard, all that damn baguette and treats.

I swear, I can feel the inflammation in my body building up. I feel fat again in all my clothes, even though I haven’t really put any major weight on.

OK – MUST BE GOOD. I need to psych myself up BIG TIME for this weekend and next week.

Right, today I had some gluten free bread for breakfast – another MUST: I must stop buying that crap.

For lunch I have celery with cream cheese and then I have some coconut yoghurt for later which no doubt is full of added sugar.

On one side I am lucky, I don’t have diabetes or celiac disease, I’m not massively obese. But on the other, if I carry on I could end up obese, unhappy and diabetic. No Sir I don’t want that! I remember how I used to cry all the time coz I looked so fat. I haven’t cried in over a year because of that.

Going back to the inflammation thing, my little finger hurts and so does my ankle, for no reason at all. Could it be the wheat I had in the cake, or the carbs in the gluten free bread?

Must start singing ‘Wheat’s poisen’ to myself again!

Ow what is up with my little finger, it hurts while I’m typing!!

I suppose I’ve gotten into the mindset that I’ve ‘been good’ and what harm will one little thing do?? LOTS OF HARM is the answer.

I need to get out of this rut and stop being ridiculous! yaaaa!!

The above was my ‘Introduction’ (remember writing essays at school?)

Summary: I’ve been very bad

Conclusion: Stop being a dick and eat right!

So, you see I do know what to do, I just send a message to my brain to ignore what I am doing, but then my stupid (or clever) brain will remind me later that I’ve eaten a load of crap.

Wow what a rant! Sorry!! Give me some tips to stop cheating constantly. I need to go cold turkey and suffer, I swear that will be the only thing that will work. (and I know I needn’t suffer on Dukan, but sometimes I need a little self flagellation)

In conclusion again: Err, stop eating stuff you don’t want to eat and keep preaching to people not to eat!!

On the plus side, my little finger has stopped hurting. LOL!!!

Have a great day!!

  1. March 27, 2013 at 10:27 pm

    I am so right where you are too!! I feel self destructive and just don’t give a crap about my body or weight. But I do. So stupid and frustrating!

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